Have you ever wondered what life could have been if you had taken different attitudes towards the different situations you faced during your life?
I know I have, but even though you can imagine as much as you want you will never know what could have happened. Let me give you a simple example that surely most of you have lived. Do you remember that first “true love” of yours? Do you remember how you felt every time you got the chance to see her face? (his face if you are a woman) Do you also remember how hard it was to talk to that person for you? I do remember that, and the feeling was a mixture between pleasure and pain, but I was never actually able to tell her how I felt, it happened the same with the following one, and even the third, but alas! Not with the sixth. Magically the shyness lock was removed and I was able to express all my feeling without any doubt (and seven years later got married, but that is my life).
Now I wonder, was it shyness really that kept me from talking what I believed I felt? Sure it felt like that back then, and yes at that point in time I would have loved to be able to say my mind, but looking at it now, no. I truly believe that things in life happen in random way, but we still know subconsciously if they are good or not for us. During our lives we are forced to take millions of decisions, and the way we react to them is what makes us what we are, but how we know how to react to different situations? Well, some people tell you listen to your heart, I say listen to no one, and act as you please, don’t even listen to yourself. People screw up things when place too much thinking into things. How much is 2+2, 6*6, what color is this background? All this are questions that most likely are able to give minimal thought. Do you love girlfriend/wife? What would you do for a thousand dollars? This are questions in which most people must stop and think, why? Yes, nothing. That are my answers quick, no thought in the middle, you must be thinking, yea right, everybody has a price, but you know what? That isn’t true, there are some of us that do things because we like to, not because we have money involved. Asking me if I love my wife is kind of a stupid question I love her to my guts and back, with every single molecule of my being. If you ever have to stop and think before giving an answer, well stop, and think again, there is something that is not right.
Where I’m trying to get with all this is to the point that you don’t need to wait for your heart to answer, all you need to do is answer the first thing that comes into your mind, and there you will have the answer you have been waiting for so long. I usually don’t give much thought to my words, that’s why I tend to sound aggressive, incoherent or whatever, I don’t double check my writings (only for errors on orthography) but nothing else. Yes this way of acting surely has given my tons of problems in the past (I have been implementing this and working on it for the past nine years, and still stop to think some things)(Note: this attitude is not recommended in your job if you plan on keeping it and having no problems) and will most likely give me more than one headache in the future, but that’s because people are afraid of hearing the simple truth, they prefer receiving a polished and polite version of what you think, but as I already talked about this on a previous post. In the end I prefer feeling fine with myself for being honest with my mind than having people like me because I’m polite.
Anyway I think that I went far away from what I was talking on the beginning; the point is that if you truly listen to yourself and put yourself back on those situations where you were too shy to talk you will see that probably your body was telling you not, for one reason or the other.
Let me give you a simple example, this girl I really liked during all my high school time is now married and has two kids, well the story may have ended in a different way if I had said something or even tried something, she might have never started dating her husband, and so on, and to be honest with you all I’m happy for them, and my best wishes to you both. Another example, this girl I met on my senior year at high school, she turned to be a little slut, so great once again. And so on with this examples. We could also place this on a work scenario, if I had just accepted the way they were toying me on my previous job I would have never quitted and got this job I have now where I got almost everything I wanted (referring to jobs that is).
I know this post was kind of chaotic, but what the fuck. If you don’t like it you weren’t forced to read it.
So to make kind of a round up: Even though things will happen in your life, the most important thing is that you are hones to yourself, and do not ever betray what your subconscious tells you for that is your body and mind talking together. There you will have all the answers you are looking. Whatever comes first to your mind is what your subconscious tell you, so trust yourself.
Enjoy my friends.
As a final note, to all the people that once were hurt by my actions or words, I’m sorry I was such an asshole, but hey, at least I’m a honest one.
We are created by chance
We met by chance
And fell in love by chance
If all is random
If nothing is written
How lucky of me
To have you by my side.
